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Often times, it’s hard for me to strike a conversation with someone out of fear the person would not be interested in chatting with me.  I have attempted to strike conversation with strangers before and usually I would get a stare back and then they would walk away.  Sometime, they would smile and then walk away.  The rejections I’ve been getting a lot recently are the people that would pull out their cell phone and pretend to be on the phone with someone in an attempt to avoid talking with me as I started a conversation with him or her.

Unfortunately, I’m not able to “work a room” with ease.  Simply because I tend to be more reserved in crowed room.  I would engage in conversation with people or groups that initiate it with me only.   I tend to have a bit of the personality of the folks from the nineteenth century.  As stated by (2009), “Nineteenth century rules mandated that strangers must be introduced by a third party before initiating conversation”.  I grew up in this environment where it would not be recommended to talk to strangers as a precaution for your own safety.  Growing up the only thing I would ask a stranger is either the time or direction to get to a place.  It just was not in my nature to engage in a conversation with strangers. To make matters more awkward strangers were also not interested in talking to anyone other than the people they already know. Therefore, they were isolated from people around them as well.

I have learned a lot from this chapter, and I will use what I’ve learned to improve my ability to connect with others.  For example, I will stop using global labels to describe myself, labels such as lame, and quiet.  I will use descriptive rather than negative labels in my internal monologue.  I’ve made a list of my positive qualities and I’ll read it to myself every morning, in an attempt to boost my moral and self-confidence.  I will reframe my approach behavior to be more positive.  As identify by (2009), Your fear of rejection is mainly a product of how you conceptualize, or frame your meeting with an interesting stranger.  Therefore, I will start framing my meeting with an interesting person as an opportunity to begin to get to know someone who I’m interested in.  I’ll be more curious about what will happen in the conversation, but not so concern or worried about the outcome.

References

McKay. M., Davis. M., & Fanning.F. (2009). Messages the Communication Skills Book. (Third. Edition). New Harbinger Publication, Inc.